Awkward Press

Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe.
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Archive for January, 2012

How to Not Get a Literary Agent

January 30, 2012 By: Category: Greatest Hits, Publishing

At the end of 2010 I decided I would write one story every day in 2011 and post them on a website called, appropriately enough, The Story of the Day. At the end of the year, I figured, I’d have enough material to put together a really entertaining book. By that time, word of my project would have spread across the Internetoverse. I would be feted as the next so-and-so (is it Mike Birbiglia now? Is that who we like?) and literary agents would be crawling all over each other to sign me up, like maggots on a tasty piece of rotten banana.

As so often happens with projects that are started for all the wrong reasons, this one flamed out rather quickly. It wasn’t an abject failure … I followed through in January and February, fell off a little in March, and then totally went to pot in the months after that. By June I’d posted 86 stories. That’s not a bad total, and some of those stories are pretty darn entertaining. But it’s still a far cry from 365, which is how many days there are in a year (in case you’re one of those people who doesn’t know about time and math).

The project wasn’t a complete waste of time, because out of it came a series I consider one of my finest creations – Professor Blowjob and the Storm-Fighters of Courage. (You can read the series for yourself starting right here.) Prof. Blowjob embodies everything I enjoy about writing – ridiculous characters, absurd situations, juvenile humor, and gloriously awkward turns of phrase. It is most certainly not for everyone. But the people it is for, it is so, so for. And those people are, in my opinion, a criminally underserved market of readers. (more…)

Check Out The Big Time Show on The Big Time YouTube

January 23, 2012 By: Category: Friends, Videos

I have been meaning to post this for like weeks now but have not had the time on account of how I’ve been on my annual month-long holiday crystal meth bender. But now I’m back and feeling better than ever … I mean, I can’t find about seven of my teeth, but that’s fine, I have plenty of pudding.

The point of the post is that my friends Dave & Gabe have a show on YouTube and it is soon going to be exploding with content. So get in now, on the ground floor, so in 2 months when your friends are all like, “dude, you have GOT to check out The Big Time Show,” you can be all, “what, you mean some future episodes that haven’t even been made yet? Because I’ve known about that shit like forEVER.”

The first episode is below; you can check out the entire hilarious series at http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE21137175EEB208D. Spread the love! Share the laughs! Live the lie!