Awkward Press

Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe.

A Secret Code

May 19, 2010 By: Category: Awkwardness

I received this email today from a sender known simply as “Cultural Affairs.”


Most of you have probably heard that Victoria Howard will be retiring from the city soon. We invite you to sign her “retirement card”. It’s located under the front counter in the main office and will be available through June 3.



I do not know who Victoria Howard or Nancy are, but I’m convinced this is some kind of a code. She’s retiring from the city? Who retires from a city? Why is “retirement card” in quotes? Why are they giving people 3 weeks to sign this card? Someone get me 1,500 words on this email, stat!

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