This just in! Michael Jackson had a heart attack!
One of my hopes for my life has always been to outlive Michael Jackson. Because when he dies, we might finally find out what in the Hell that dude is all about.
Update: Oh my god. I guess I just got my wish.
Wow. I’m speechless.
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CNN says coma now. Apparently he was rushed to a better hospital, where he was pronounced alive.
(Credit to both the Simpsons and a coworker who referenced it)
1Ok, now dead.
2Just woke up in Denmark to this news! Unbelievable! Even the Danes are broken hearted about it!
3