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Can Where the Wild Things Are Possibly Be As Good As Its Trailers?

August 07, 2009 By: Category: Movies

First of all: No fair. No fair, Spike Jones. It’s not supposed to be cool to expand 10 page picture books into movies. The Grinch, anyone? The Polar Express? I never saw The Polar Express. I rest my case.

But you went ahead and made the movie that wasn’t cool to make, because you are Spike Jones, a self-generating credibility machines. And then you made the previews for that movie so good that I would pay to watch them all on their own. They are not previews, they are tear extractors.

Here’s the thing: I saw you that day in front of Square One cafe across from the Scientology center. You rode up on a Vespa and you had a long white scarf around your neck. A riding scarf. And a mustache. You had the gayest 70s porno mustache that has ever been worn outside of 70s gay porn. And you met up with two guys who were just totally normal guys. And you were waiting for someone who kept calling and saying she would be there in five minutes. You stood there the entire time that we were eating, making very normal conversation with your two normal friends, and you never lost your cool, even though your friend was making you all wait. That was pretty awesome.

I really hope you’re not a Scientologist.

5 Comments to “Can Where the Wild Things Are Possibly Be As Good As Its Trailers?”


  1. Bishop Bob says:

    I dunno–this take on the book sures looks to be kind of a weepy, sugary, sanitized version of the real thing. I mean, Damn! The real Max was a kick-ass, pissed-off little kid whose parents probably wouldn’t have minded a bit of a Max-free holiday every now and then. But this treacly tart–give me a break.

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  2. Does it make you feel better to know that the studio rejected it initially because they said it was terrifying children at screenings?

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  3. Bishop Bob says:

    Those terrified children were wimp-butts.

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  4. How can you possibly judge how Max is from the trailer with little to no dialogue?

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  5. An astute, albeit anonymous, point.

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