Slate posted a video today about a special children’s anti-drug event from the 90s called “Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue.” It’s a 1/2 hour-long cartoon special about the dangers of smoking marijuana, starring all of your favorite 80s cartoon stars, like the Muppet Babies, the Smurfs, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and Bugs Bunny(! Say it ain’t so, Bugs!). It’s animated in that awful, cheap-looking Hanna-Barbara style that apparently is the only way Chinese teenagers know how to draw. Because these cartoons are all actually drawn by Chinese teenagers.

Apparently this show was so important that it aired on all three networks simultaneously. Ya know, growing up in the Just Say No era, drugs were one of the scariest things in the world to me. I had no idea what they were, but I knew they were terrifying. Because we were constantly bombarded by propaganda that made it seem like the minute we hit puberty, we would regularly be whisked into back alleys by the popular kids who would threaten to make our lives a living Hell if we didn’t take a hit off of their joints. Which, I don’t even think my town had alleys.

On a totally related topic, when I was a kid I would memorize the names of the members of metal bands because I had an irrational fear that one day I’d be walking home (I didn’t even walk to school) and some stoner would threaten to kick my ass unless I told him the names of the members of Cinderella, immediately. Embarrassing, but true. Dear studio executives: please bring the Cartoon All-Stars back for a special about how you should always know the names of metal superstars in case something like this happens. You’re welcome!

The question is, is this really the target audience we need to reach? 10-year-olds? If you are a 10-year-old kid and you are doing drugs, your problems probably can’t be solved by the Muppet Babies. And that’s one to grow on.

But remember how well it worked? How everyone that was born in the 80s is still afraid of drugs and does not do them ever? Well done, America’s drug war! A very effective use of money.

Anyway, here’s the whole cartoon, for your amusement. I haven’t watched it. Please let me know if it’s worth the effort.