Awkward Press » Awkwardness http://awkwardpress.com Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe. Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:36:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 My Feelings on Comic-Con Are Quite Interesting http://awkwardpress.com/my-feelings-on-comic-con-are-quite-interesting/ http://awkwardpress.com/my-feelings-on-comic-con-are-quite-interesting/#comments Fri, 23 Jul 2010 17:58:45 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=2603

"Those sure are some smart-looking clothings, fellows. We are certain to be comfortable for the next 4 hours as we wait in line to see an extended cut of the trailer for Jonah Hex 2."

I sure don't get the excitement about this whole Comic-Con thing. It sounds like Sundance, only instead of seeing movies, you watch trailers. And then you get to see celebrities talk about the trailers, but in that promotional way, like how they might talk about the film in a DVD extra you'd never watch.

I mean, I like comics as much as the next guy. I'm not rushing out every Wednesday to get the new Justice League, but I like seeing what Garfield's up to in the morning. But are there even any comics at this thing? All I ever hear about is Jon Favreau. If I was the dude who was there to check out some new comics, I'd be pretty annoyed that I had to shove my way through a bunch of Jon Favreaus to get to them. At an event that is ostensibly all about those comics.

Final analysis: Comic-Con, which I have never been to, is a terrible thing that no one should ever experience. That is all.

]]> http://awkwardpress.com/my-feelings-on-comic-con-are-quite-interesting/feed/ 1 Awkward Two Cover Unveiled, World Weeps with Anticipation http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-two-cover-unveiled-world-weeps-with-anticipation/ http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-two-cover-unveiled-world-weeps-with-anticipation/#comments Thu, 15 Jul 2010 20:03:19 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=2575 Do you want to know what the new issue of Awkward looks like? It looks like this!

Awkward Two: Front


Awkward Two: Back

Thanks millions to illustrator Aaron Newman a/k/a Baarbarian for the kick-ass cover illustration and designers Holly & Andy at Rumors for the amazing layout! Pre-orders will be accepted soon ... get your credit card ready!

]]> http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-two-cover-unveiled-world-weeps-with-anticipation/feed/ 2 Awkward One … Now Available on Amazon http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-one-now-available-on-amazon/ http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-one-now-available-on-amazon/#comments Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:54:37 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=2539

I got tired of using the same damn cover photo every time I blogged about Awkward One. So here's a random page from inside the book.

This is a big day for us. We're starting to gear up for the release of Awkward Two, which will be available on Amazon right out of the gate. But first, I had to test the system to make sure Amazon would accept our merch. And what do you know? They did!

From this moment forth, Awkward One will be available at Amazon for $9. Here's the thing about selling merch through Amazon: they only take a limited number of copies before they have proof that they could make a profit. 1, to be exact. I just sent them one copy, and I'd love for it to be out of their hands before they even receive it. So if you haven't bought your copy yet and need one more item to get the super saver shipping, toss this bad boy onto your order. If we sell the only copy immediately, they will know that Awkward Press is a force to be reckoned with and hopefully order up a buttload of the next edition. The future of indie-publishing rests in your hands! Order your copy right now!

Optionally, if you've already read Awkward One and loved it, please click on over to Amazon and give us a review. The more the merrier!

Next stop, the Kindle! Awkward Press is taking the Internet by storm!

]]> http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-one-now-available-on-amazon/feed/ 1 A Secret Code http://awkwardpress.com/a-secret-code/ http://awkwardpress.com/a-secret-code/#comments Wed, 19 May 2010 17:44:09 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=2391 I received this email today from a sender known simply as "Cultural Affairs."

Hello!

Most of you have probably heard that Victoria Howard will be retiring from the city soon. We invite you to sign her "retirement card". It's located under the front counter in the main office and will be available through June 3.

Thanks!

Nancy

I do not know who Victoria Howard or Nancy are, but I'm convinced this is some kind of a code. She's retiring from the city? Who retires from a city? Why is "retirement card" in quotes? Why are they giving people 3 weeks to sign this card? Someone get me 1,500 words on this email, stat!

]]> http://awkwardpress.com/a-secret-code/feed/ 2 Dear Terrifying Ocean Thing http://awkwardpress.com/dear-terrifying-ocean-thing/ http://awkwardpress.com/dear-terrifying-ocean-thing/#comments Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:39:09 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=1742 fangtooth2
You are the worst thing I've ever seen. I hate you. What are you doing on my website, you creep? Your teeth are the worst. So are your creepy eyes. Go on, get out of here! Shoo!
fangtooth
Oh, okay. You're not very big. That's better. You can hang out. You are still creepy, but I guess you're sort of cute, too. But wait ...
fish2
AHHHHHH!!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!? Is that your friend? Get him out of here! He's frightening my customers!

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