Lorene Yarnell, a dancer who became half of the Shields and Yarnell comedy mime team that came to fame in the 1970s and briefly starred in their own TV variety series, has died. She was 66. - The LA Times

Shields and Yarnell were the best. They krumped, they clowned, they broke it on down. Before there was the robot, there was Shields and Yarnell. They were the mimes that you didn't want to punch in the face. A notable achievement in any era.

There aren't too many clips of their work out there in the world, but you can check out a few after the break.

Don't be redeckulouse, Coosin Lahry!

As I have said in multiple weepy apology posts, I am fully immersed in the world of green jobs right now and am falling behind in my Awkward duties. You would think Awkward was publishing this green jobs book, the way I talk about it. But no, this one is strickly 4 tha school kidz.

Anyhoo, the reason why I'm breaking my radio silence is because The Onion just did an interview with Bronson Pinchot that makes me love Bronson Pinchot forever. Here's what he says about Tom Cruise:

He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?” I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange.

Ha! I love that Tom Cruise would say, "It's a nice day, I'm glad there are no gay people standing here." I'm totally going to start using that. I have to go to the bank in a minute, and I think when the teller asks me how much I want to take out, I'm going to say, "I'd like $60, as long as no gay people are getting $60."

This is awesome, too:

AVC: Eddie Murphy reportedly said after Coming To America that John Landis had a better chance of working with Vic Morrow again than with him. Was there tension between the two?

Vic Morrow is the guy who was killed in a helicopter crash during the segment John Landis directed for Twilight Zone: The Movie. Ha! You still got it, Eddie!

(Via HuffPo.)

Yum

This guy loves chives so much, he wrote his love in the sidewalk so future generations would know how good chives are. That is going the extra mile.

I like to think that the goat-man face next to the proclamation is a self-portrait. Somewhere in Los Angeles roams the lonely goat-man, just looking for enough chives to get him through the day.

As Good as It T-Shirt Gets

Could 2009 be the year that all forms of everything attain perfection? What's next? Could this year see the creation of the best pet name, the best mime routine, the best excuse for staring at boobs? I'll keep you in the loop!

I bought a t-shirt at the Goodwill once upon which someone had ironed the words "I'm sorry your cat died," with the exact same letters and t-shirt as this guy's shirt. It sat in my drawer for about 5 years. I never found occasion to wear it, and I eventually sold it to a resale shop for a lot more money than it was worth, along with a shirt I had made that said "Penis Pasta." People will wear anything on their chests.

(T-shirt image stolen from Videogum.)

I will eat David Sedaris for breakfast.

We can all agree that This American Life is something we wouldn't mind backlash-hating but can't because it's just too good. We can all agree on this. We can also all, somewhat less enthusiastically, agree that David Sedaris is a funny fellow who deserves his success. I mean, if you're going to rank people who deserve to be successful on account of talent, drive, and (at least feigned) humility, he would be pretty close to the top. (Most deserving of success and all-time 100% backlash-proof: fellow TAL contributor John Hodgman. Least deserving of success: John Rzeznik, lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls. It's scientifically proven. (FYI: Did you know that Goo Goo Dolls have had 7 top 40 hits? Challenge: sing one of them.))

But for my money, the best TAL life contributor award goes to Jon Ronson. The piece he does about the guy in the insane asylum for this week's episode is a classic. You must also hear the piece he did about his high school reunion. And then go to his website and listen to everything else he's ever done. And then call me and say, "you're right, he's the best. I will never speak of David Sedaris again, even though he's actually pretty good, too."

And when you're all done with that, listen to Kaspar Hauser's hilarious TAL parodies and be happy that the Internet is such a magical wonderland of nonstop entertainment.