Awkward Press

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Archive for ‘Politics’

Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

November 07, 2012 By: Category: Politics

I guess I should say something about the election, since that picture of Joe Biden has been sitting there at the top of this page for far too long now.

Barack Obama won! Hooray! America!

That is all.

Debate Terror

October 11, 2012 By: Category: Politics

This liberal hand-wringing is getting a little out of control.

Mitt Romney: Really Great at Using His Checkbook

August 28, 2012 By: Category: News, Opinions, Politics


Over the weekend, The LA Times published a piece that was intended to showcase the side of Mitt Romney that doesn’t come across in his robotic delivery, his stiff appearance, and his poorly defined stance on issues of political concern. We’re in trouble from the subtitle:

Friends see a warm, charitable man with a sense of duty rooted in his Mormon faith.

So right off the bat, we know this article is going to offer us no information of value. “Mitt Romney’s friends like him.” I don’t think there’s been a lot of debate in the public forum about whether or not Mitt Romney is cool with his pals. I would like to see the presidential candidate whose friends told the press, “That guy’s a total prick.”

The opening story is a doozy. (more…)

Baby’s First March

October 17, 2011 By: Category: Greatest Hits, Opinions, Politics

Baby and Daddy, fighting the power.

My wife and I took our 10-month old daughter Zellie on the Occupy LA march over the weekend. It was a very peaceful, if somewhat subdued moment of people coming together to express their common frustration with the state of our country. I was pleasantly surprised at the diversity; I know the coverage of Zuccotti Park tends to focus on the punks and hipsters, but every age and walk of life was represented at Occupy LA. I would even say it skewed old. Turnout felt somewhat sparse when I was in the thick of it, but the local news estimated the crowd was between 10 and 15,000 strong, which sounds like a pretty impressive figure to me. Zellie did not seem that impressed, but the only thing that really excites her at this age is bananas.

It was the first march I’ve ever been a part of. I’ve always been more of a complainer than a protestor. My civil disobedience mostly takes the form of snarky Facebook status updates and rambling emails to my friend. That’s not a typo, I really only have one friend. My only real involvement in politics to date consisted of attending the Ralph Nader rally at Madison Square Garden in 2000 (Tim Robbins showed up as Bob Roberts! Don’t worry; no one got it then, either) and making a few hours worth of phone calls for Obama in 2008.

Oh, I also went to see George Bush Sr. speak in high school, but that was for a girl. The President was on a Whistle Stop train tour that whistled to a stop 20 miles from my hometown, and the highly crush-worthy Julie C. invited me to join her family at the station. Under those kinds of circumstances, how could I refuse? You show me a guy who won’t drive 20 miles to watch the President wave from a sweet-looking vintage train with the girl he wants to bone and I’ll show you a guy who doesn’t believe in America. (more…)

Mark Green’s Awesome Ad Campaign

September 26, 2009 By: Category: Politics, Videos

Mark Green is the best. There’s no question about it. He’s a political scenester in New York who is apparently running for public advocate. He just made this ad that proves you don’t need any money to do something awesome:

A few years ago, I went to some fund-raising event that Kyle was performing at. It was at the nonprofit where FOA (friend of Awkward) Desiree Burch worked, and after the performances, the woman who headed the charity up gave a short speech. Afterwards, Kyle and I were riding in the elevator with Mr. Green, who had come to see the event. First of all, he’s a short, short man. Second of all, we got to talking with him, and Kyle asked him if he enjoyed himself.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Especially the final speaker. What a doll.”

“Yeah, she wasn’t bad,” Kyle said.

“She’s my wife,” Mark Green admitted.

“Your wife is a foxy, foxy lady,” Kyle said.

To this day, I am unaware of whether Kyle had any idea who he was talking to, but it was a smooth move, nonetheless.

A Special Note from the Very Publisher

September 10, 2009 By: Category: Politics

From the AP, by way of HuffPo:

The House’s guest chaplain, in the opening prayer for Thursday’s session, also appeared to refer to Wilson’s outburst. “Gracious God, we meet in a challenging moment of your history. We cannot control all that may endanger us, but we can choose our behavior and the example we set as leaders,” said The Very Rev. George L.W. Werner, dean emeritus of Trinity Cathedral in Pittsburgh.

“Very Reverend”? That’s an actual title? That’s the coolest actual title I’ve ever heard.

Also, what is it with Joe Wilsons and scandals? First Valerie Plame, and now “Shout-gate”? I’m beginning to think that “Joe Wilson” is just a made-up person the media throws out there anytime they need to spice up the news a bit. Fact: Joe Wilson and Joe Wilson have never been seen in the same room together. It’s true!

Jon Stewart’s Finest Moment

August 21, 2009 By: Category: Politics

I’ve been trying to contain political stuff to my personal blog, on account of how Awkward Press is happy to take your money no matter what your political affiliation. But this is the single best discussion I have seen on health care reform and I encourage everyone to take 25 minutes to watch it today. I have no idea why it is up to a comedy show to present an intelligent debate on this topic. But, America! America crazy.

(Video after the break.)


Smart Science Thursday

August 20, 2009 By: Category: Politics

Can we get some more science in here, please? Thanks.

Can we get some more science in here, please? Thanks.

Polls are the best. I love how smart and scientific they are, all the time. To wit:

More than three out of every four Americans feel it is important to have a “choice” between a government-run health care insurance option and private coverage, according to a public opinion poll released on Thursday.

A new study by SurveyUSA puts support for a public option at a robust 77 percent, one percentage point higher than where it stood in June.

But the numbers tell another story, as well.

Earlier in the week, after pollsters for NBC dropped the word “choice” from their question on a public option, they found that only 43 percent of the public were in favor of “creating a public health care plan administered by the federal government that would compete directly with private health insurance companies.”

That’s great. So the information we have about people’s support of a public option can change by 30 points depending on how many words are in the question. Science!

To be fair, that second choice sounds awfully complicated. I probably wouldn’t have voted for it, either, and I think the entire health insurance industry should be abolished.

Breaking Persepolis News!

June 17, 2009 By: Category: Politics

Who knew Marjane Satrapi was this hot?

Who knew Marjane Satrapi was this hot? is quickly becoming your go-to resource for all news Persepolis (see right sha and sha). In a stunning turn of events, Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi apparently knows what really happened in the Iranian election:

Two Iranian filmmakers on Tuesday presented a document to Green Party MPs in the European parliament claiming to show that defeated presidential candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi had received over 19 million votes in the weekend election.

Marjane Satrapi, Iranian author and director and Mohsen Makhmalbaf, an Iranian filmmaker and Mousavi spokesman, presented a document that they claimed had come from the Iranian electoral commission.

The document said liberal cleric and former parliament speaker Mehdi Karroubi came second in the election with a total of 13.3 million votes, while president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came third with only 5.49 million votes.

“Ahmadinejad received only 12 percent of the vote, not 65 percent,” said Marjane Satrapi, who was the director of Oscar-nominated film Persepolis.

If this is true, you gotta at least give Ahmadinejad credit for having absolutely no concern with finesse. He didn’t just steal this election, he pillaged it. Which, if you’re gonna steal an election, freaking steal that shit, right? None of this “we’ll leave it up to the Supreme Court” bullshit. You gotta grab that shit and put it in your pocket, and when other people are like, “I just saw you stick that election in your pocket,” you’re like “but I don’t even have any hands.” And then when they’re all, “what?” you’re like, “laterz!”

Oh, How We’ve Grown

June 17, 2009 By: Category: Politics

Headline from the LA Times today:

Obama policy is outreach to gays

I haven’t actually read the article yet, because doing so would take time away from my bond trading hobby busy derivative trading schedule gun cleaning regimen. But I am strangely fascinated by this headline. It is referring to the administration’s new policy of giving equal rights to homosexual couples who work for the State Department. Which, I have a friend who works for the State Department, and she said she has coworkers who are a lesbian couple. When they are stationed in a new country, they always get stationed together. But the State Department must put them up in two different apartments. Which, you don’t think about the logistics of little things like that, but apparently that’s how it goes.

When I first read this headline, I wasn’t aware it was referring to a specific decision. I thought it was just saying that Obama had a personal policy of reaching out to gays. Like Oprah. There is something very funny about this headline that I can’t quite put my finger on. Help me out, people! Why is this headline funny?