Awkward Press

Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe.

Charlie Sheen: Local Boy Makes Good

April 03, 2011 By: Category: News

So, Charlie Sheen is on a spoken word tour. Good for him! He clearly deserves it. The show debuted in Detroit last night and apparently it was not entertaining.

Charlie Sheen was heckled, booed and eventually abandoned by the crowd at his inaugural stage show, with many of the audience members chanting “refund” and heading for the exits even before the show abruptly ended.

Okay, that’s not surprising. Even the most magical warlock in the universe could not put together an entertaining one-man show all by himself in 2 weeks. Professional comedians take years to develop a good hours’ worth of material. 99% of all comedy films suck. It is not in the slightest bit surprising that a fairly talentless drug addict who has never demonstrated any creative abilities beyond playing himself on a shitty sitcom would put on an uninteresting show.

But what is surprising is the audience seemed to think Charlie Sheen actually does have magical powers. To wit:

Linda Fugate, who paid $150 for two seats, left the theater and walked up the street, yelling, “I want my money back!”

“I was hoping for something. I didn’t think it would be this bad,” said Fugate, a 47-year-old from Lincoln Park, Mich.

If you have enough disposable income to pay $75 per ticket to see Charlie Sheen rant just because you were “hoping for something,” then you deserve anything you get.

I’ll tell you what the scarier thing is about this phenomenon, though … is that there are people in this world (at least 5,100 in Detroit, the capacity of the Fox … this in a city that just reported a 25% drop in its population) who are unable to distinguish reality from entertainment. People watch the Charlie Sheen show on the news and Entertainment Tonight and on the cover of People and they think of it in the same terms as they would think of an actual, scripted piece of entertainment. It is only a matter of time before we see a tour of the Libya show, complete with live atrocities. Only no one will buy tickets to that one, because no one really cares about Libya.

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