Dear Terrifying Ocean Thing
You are the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I hate you. What are you doing on my website, you creep? Your teeth are the worst. So are your creepy eyes. Go on, get out of here! Shoo!
Oh, okay. You’re not very big. That’s better. You can hang out. You are still creepy, but I guess you’re sort of cute, too. But wait …
AHHHHHH!!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!? Is that your friend? Get him out of here! He’s frightening my customers!
You make me laugh.
1Darn, for a second I thought it was an anglerfish, and was going to post something about her being so ugly she'd need to steal someone else's dick to get laid. But it isn't.
2You'll dig this monstrosity then, Vampyroteuthis infernalis, lit. "vampire squid from hell":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_squid
Although for sheer terrifying evilness, i think you've got to go for the Humboldt Squid:
http://www.collisiondetection.net/mt/archives/2006/03/behold_the_fear.php#001450
3I got yer evil ocean creatures.
http://hmsc.oregonstate.edu/projects/msap/PS/masterlist/imageAFSC/blobsculpin.gif
http://scienceblogs.com/zooillogix/squid%20Promachoteuthis%20sulcus.jpg
http://mercenaryluthien.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/01verme.jpg
4And, of course, then there are the giant isopods: http://theoystersgarter.com/2007/10/16/please-greet-your-giant-isopod-overlords/
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