Guy at Starbucks (in mirror this morning): All right. Got my Thrasher trucker cap perched delicately on top of my hair. Sleeves rolled up so people can admire the fading tattoos blanketing every inch of my arms. Chain wallet with 10 inch long puffy raccoon tail hanging off the end, like seriously so long and unwieldy that it would tickle my knees if I wasn’t wearing these badass capris? Check .
(Claps his hands.) All right! Coffee time! Let’s do this shit!
Me at Starbucks (in line behind him): You look great!