Awkward Two, a collection of 33 micro-short stories by 25 incredible writers, will be released to the public on September 27, 2010. (You can pre-order it right here.) Who are these incredible writers? Let’s meet ‘em! We sent the same 9 questions to all the writers. Here are their answers.

Jeffrey Dinsmore

Jeffrey Dinsmore, also known as Jeffrey D, is the main brain behind Awkward Press and the man responsible for 90% of the content of this website.  He is also responsible for 90% of the world’s orgasms.  That second part isn’t true, but what is true is that Jeffrey is one of my favorite people in the world.  He is that incredible rare combination of someone who is both wildly talented and deeply good.  He’s also one of the funniest people I’ve met, and one of the luckiest as his wife is one of the coolest wives I’ve ever met.  The biggest compliment I can pay him is to say that he’s an inspiration to me — which sounds Tony Robbins-y  I know, but is true.  (Blushing now, Jeff?)  For more about Jeffrey, read pretty much anything on this website, or check out his weight loss progress at www.jeffreydinsmore.com. If you’re interested in giving him money, visit portfolio.jeffreydinsmore.com for work samples.  -Kyle

The Interview Portion

1) Who are you and why are you here?
Jeffrey Dinsmore. I’m here because I have a naïve belief that if you put creative things out into the world and treat people decently, the universe will eventually reward you in some way. So basically, I’m just in it for myself.

2) Why do you write?
I write to make myself laugh. I write to show off. I write because it’s the one thing I’ve always been pretty good at. I write because I had a crush on my second grade teacher, Mrs. White, and she told me I should be a writer.

3) What’s the best thing you’ve ever written?
This is such an asshole question. I can’t believe I wrote it. And an asshole question deserves an asshole response. I wholeheartedly believe my book I, An Actress: The Autobiography of Karen Jamey will someday be recognized as a comic masterpiece. Very few people have read this book, and even fewer have liked it. My aunt’s a big fan. So is my friend Michael from The New Yorker. That’s about it. The best review I got called it a “pleasant diversion.” It is currently taking up space on remainder shelves around the country, so if you happen to stumble across a copy, please drop $1.50 on it and give it a shot. Also, you can buy it for one red cent through Amazon.

4) What do you do when you aren’t writing?
I’m busy dreaming up new projects to distract me from what I should be doing, which is writing.

5) Name two books that have blown your mind.
The first book that really showed me how brilliant writing could be was Alice in Wonderland. It’s a shame that some of the best books get pigeonholed as children’s literature, because I can’t think of any “adult” novel that is as powerful, strange, hilarious, succinct, and brilliant as Alice in Wonderland. The first book that changed my conception of the world was Life: The Movie by Neal Gabler. It’s a nonfiction book that points out the myriad ways in which reality has been overtaken by entertainment. Other books that have given me the shivers (in a good way) are Animal Farm and 1984, Infinite Jest (for sheer brilliance of writing), and pretty much anything the great Roald Dahl ever committed to paper.

6) What do you like to write about?
I like to write stories that are completely silly and innocuous on the surface and could possibly be interpreted as saying something profound, although I seldom know what that profound statement is. Style-wise, I like to write sentences that are so excruciatingly bad they develop their own internal beauty.

7) Complete this sentence: If the world could know one thing about me, it’s that I …
firmly believe that dishonesty is the root of all evil.

8) Are we doomed?
I hope against hope that we aren’t, but I sure don’t know how we’re going to get ourselves out of this pickle.

9) Anything else?
I am in awe of all the creative people who have devoted their time and energy to Awkward Two in exchange for very little. The writers, the directors, the crew members, the designers, and the printer have been uniformly wonderful to work with. I really feel like we’re creating something special here, and I hope the final result is something to which you’ll all be proud to have your names attached. And a special shout out to my partners Clay and Kyle, who have been there from the beginning and are working their asses off in the background while I hog all the glory. Thank you to everyone in the extended Awkward community … this feels right.