Oh, viral videos. It seems like just yesterday my Internet connection was so slow that I would rather chop off my fingers than watch video online. And anyone who knows me knows that I really value my fingers, so that’s saying a lot. But then 2005 happened and YouTube happened and the world got a little sunnier and also a great deal more distracting.

I’ve shied away from listing some of the more “pivotal” moments in viral video history — the Star Wars Kid, the Numa Numa guy, that completely irritating Obama song — mostly because you can find those videos referenced everywhere and I’ve never really found any of them particularly entertaining. I’m not claiming to have some kind of secret inside stash of genius viral videos that I’m hoarding … you’ve probably already seen most if not all of these. But on the off-chance you have not, you’re welcome.

10. Spiderman Will Make You Gay
This one came around slightly before the age of viral videos, so it’s not embedded. But it’s the first video I remember sending around to my friends, so I felt it deserved a mention. Watch it right here; it still holds up!

9. With a Little Help from My Friends – captioned for the clear-headed
When you start watching this one, you don’t think it’s going to be very good. I will promise not to sing on a Kia? That’s just bad. But then it goes on, and gets more awesome, and you think, “this is what man was meant to do.”

8. Just like a mini-mall
Living rooms, bedrooms, and dinettes?

7. KISS shreds
Much like “With a Little Help from My Friends,” this one starts out so-so (“PISS”? Really?) but quickly becomes brilliant.

6. Mr. Chi City
Mr. Chi City is as hilarious as human beings get. I know nothing about this dude, but his videos never fail to crack me up. I’ve embedded the video of him killing a bug because it’s the first I saw, but so far I haven’t been disappointed by anything I’ve seen. He has created a ton of other videos for your enjoyment right here.

5. Goldentusk
The best thing about YouTube is that it has allowed so many people to indulge themselves in those ridiculous ideas we all have while making toast in the morning. Goldentusk writes lyrics to instrumental scores from movies and films elaborate videos of them. That is a toast-making idea if I’ve ever heard one. Enjoy many other wonderful videos by Goldentusk here.

4. Cars
This is pure evil and should not be viewed by anyone with any sense of decency.

3. Shoes / Muffins (tie)
The first time I saw “Shoes” and “Muffins,” I was convinced that it was only a matter of time before Liam Sullivan (who plays dad, Kelly, and the brother in “Shoes” and both characters in “Muffins”) became the biggest star in America. Then I started thinking about what it meant to be famous. According to YouTube, “Shoes” has over 25,000,000 hits. That is 1/12 of the country, which is far more people than went to see Will Smith’s last movie. He very well already could be the biggest star in America.

2. Drinking from Cups
Your guess is as good as mine on this one. It claims to be by Liam Lynch and Dan Deacon. Liam Lynch is the creator of Sifl and Olly and director of the Tenacious D. movie, and Dan Deacon is an electronic musician. I have no clue what either of them has to do with this video. But, it is among the most quotable videos I’ve ever seen. The second most quotable, in fact.

1. Bubb Rubb and Lil’ Sis
First, watch this:

Then watch this:

Then go here.

If you don’t know, now ya now!