This is my first post on the Awkward site.  It’s very exciting.  And for my first post, I’m going to talk about sex.  Specifically, SEX ON FIRE, the song by Kings of Leon.  You have definitely heard this song, if you live in America and are not deaf.  I was driving around LA last week and it was on the radio literally every fifteen minutes.  It is unbelievably catchy and horrendously overplayed.  The first bunch of times I heard it, I thought to myself, in disbelief, ”Is he saying ‘Your sex is on fire’?”  The phrase “your sex” is just strange and kind of, well, gross. Or clinical. Or something. I mean, who tells someone “I love your sex”? You’d say “I love having sex with you” or “I enjoy sex with you.” Much classier. Right?

But it turns out he (Kings of Leon lead singer Caleb Followill) is saying exactly what I thought he was saying.

It turns out, in fact, that the lyrics of this song are more patently ridiculous than I could have ever imagined.  Here they are:

Lay where you’re laying, don’t make a sound
I know they’re watching, they’re watching
All the commotion, the kiddie like play
Has people talking, talking

You, your sex is on fire
And you, your sex is on fire
Consumed with what’s to transpire

…Now what I want you to imagine, boys and girls, is saying these words to someone you love.  Someone that you are currently sleeping with.  And imagine this person’s reaction particularly when you use the words “kiddie-like play,” “feels like you’re dying,” and “rattling bones” while complimenting their prowess in the bedroom.

It might get a little awkward.