When we first came up with the idea of printing a bookazine called Awkward, we decided to do 26 issues from A to Z, each of which would feature 5 short stories based around a unifying theme. The theme of the first issue was “Awkwardness,” natch. “Hey!” we said, after the first issue came out and became an international bestseller and the focus of several investigative reports by 60 Minutes, “Let’s shake things up for the second issue!” We determined that the theme of the second issue would be “Brevity,” and that it would feature short, short stories by 25 different authors. After all, rules are meant to be broken, right? Even when they’re rules that have never really been properly established and are of concern to absolutely no one except the poor book designers (Holly and Andy at Rumors! Holla!) who had to reconceptualize the entire publication.
And then along came the iPad, and suddenly, Everything Changed. Those paper-filled things we once called “books” are now confined to the trash heaps of our imaginations, and also the trash heaps that are not imaginary. People no longer want to waste their time painstakingly leafing through burdensome collections of dead trees to ingest the printed word. Now, we can all simply fire up our hip-screens and dive into words in a far-more engrossing and efficient manner. No longer do we have to struggle with the physically demanding act of turning a page. Even hands have become obsolete; a single finger is all most people need to get through their days.
Awkward Press is not the type of organization to let the future pass us by. We have decided to dive right into this glorious new world order of literature by creating an iPad version of our next book, complete with Exciting New Content that will make paper books look like caveman forks. The kind with only 1 tine.
In honor of our future reading environment, we’re proud to announce that the next issue of Awkward will be a hybrid book-movie experience. Not only will you get 25 incredible stories by 25 incredible authors, you will also get filmed adaptations of a selection of the stories to be included in the iPad version of the book. In addition, Awkward Two will be available on the Kindle, through Amazon, and through our very own online marketplace. To honor the people who still believe in reading the old fashioned way, we’ll even put the movies up online for free. I don’t exactly know how we’re going to do any of this yet, but I can say that when we put our minds to something, we will make that thing happen.
When we started Awkward Press, people told us we were crazy for wanting to print books. We did it anyway. They told us we were idiots for thinking we could possibly design and maintain our own blog, that only scientists could accomplish a task so daunting. We did it anyway. We love our writers, we love our readers, and we love the idea of diving headfirst into experiments that should not be attempted by anyone on the kind of shoestring budgets we have to work with. Over the next few months, we’ll keep you updated on how we’re doing, and we would appreciate your support when the book is released in September.
We would also appreciate a rich investor who wants to set us up with generous salaries so we can do this full time. Please contact us today and we’ll tell you where to wire the money.