Awkward Press

Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe.

My bin Laden Orgasm by Lou Perez

June 14, 2011 By: Category: stories

Not Lou Perez.

Lou Perez is a funny sumunnabitch. I first met him years and years ago when he responded to a random Craig’s List ad to be an “intern” for my old publishing company, Contemporary Press. It wasn’t just my publishing company … there were seven of us. Our status as a legitimate organization was highly questionable; we conducted all of our business at a bar on Wednesday nights.

It was pretty apparent upon meeting us that we were a very ramshackle company and that interning for us would probably not get one any closer to working in the actual publishing industry than interning at McDonalds. But Lou was kind enough to pretend we were worth his time, hanging out with us for a semester and continuing to show up to our events, long past the days when we were not paying him to do work for us. And then he went all fancy and started an amazing sketch group and began doing stand-up and now I can shed a tear of pride as I present to you his hilarious and somehow poignant piece of fiction, “My bin Laden Orgasm.” (Note: this piece first appeared on his website,

It has been over a month since it was announced that U.S. Navy SEAL Team Six killed Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, but my Brooklyn neighborhood—like all other cities and towns in the United States—is still abuzz with bin Laden conversation.

Today at the supermarket I was waiting on the checkout line when an elderly woman, whom I recognized from the soup aisle, approached me. Although I was looking right at her, she reached out to touch my elbow. (more…)