Awkward Press » boners http://awkwardpress.com Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe. Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:36:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Awkward Press Rockets to Page 4 http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-press-rockets-to-page-4/ http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-press-rockets-to-page-4/#comments Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:23:25 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=394
Boners.

Boners.

Check it out, bitches! A mere two days after announcing the Awkward Boners challenge, Awkward Press has SHOT UP two whole pages in the Google "awkward" search. I am proud to announce that we are now the 34th most popular awkward anything on the web, right behind Cracked.com's list of David Letterman's most awkward moments. I am so filled with joy right now that I'm literally peeing tears. Or, whatever it is that is the opposite of literally.

The relative ease of this triumph has led me to realize that I've set the bar too low. Yes, I still want to take the #3 spot away from Awkwardboners.com in the "awkward" Google search. But I am also now committed to stealing the #2 "boners" spot. How do I intend to accomplish this? Well, according to search engine optimization people, the H1 headers are crucial. In order to get cranked up in the boners search, I should pepper my page with giant boners, like so:

Boners boners boners boners boners!

Boners boners boners boners boners!

Did I mention that we publish literature, too? How proud is my mom? Buttons literally popping, but not literally.

]]> http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-press-rockets-to-page-4/feed/ 1 Awkward Boners http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-boners/ http://awkwardpress.com/awkward-boners/#comments Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:00:03 +0000 jeffrey http://awkwardpress.com/?p=390 If you google the word "awkward," the site Awkward Boners is the third thing that comes up. By contrast, you have to click through to page 9 before you see mention of Awkward Press.

You've won this round, Awkward Boners. But we're gunning for you. And we're taking you down.

Now let us never talk of this site again.

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