Awkward Press

My ongoing application process for the U.S. Special Teams prevents me from explaining the Lost finale in explicit detail, but since you’re all hungering to know what Awkward Press thinks about the “Show that Has America Clucking,” I shall refer you to this. This is what I think about the Lost finale. How convenient that Gabe from Videogum was kind enough to break into my mind and write it all up for me! Thanks, brootha!

Shut up! ShutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!

Listen here, Lost. I really worked my ass off for you. For the past several years, I’ve avoided every mention of Lost in the media. I’ve ignored every review, every article, every publicity photo. I did these things because I knew one day I would watch the whole series and I did not want to know what was coming.

And starting last spring, I did exactly that. I watched every episode of this damn series on the digital movie playing machine. My wife quickly “lost” interest, (get it? That’s a pun because it’s the name of the show) but I kept at it. I knew this was the last season and I wanted to enjoy it along with the rest of America.

But so then why are you being so lame to me? I put in my time! I thought we were friends! But you are not being interesting! Half of you is devoted to circumstances that are maybe not even really happening. And then the other half of you is stuck in some ugly cave with a bunch of dickheads that no one cares about. (more…)

So. New episode of Lost last night, right? I have not been waiting as long as most of you people because I just finished the first 5 seasons about 2 months ago. It was a long, hard slog. I had never seen an episode before last year. I’m glad I did it, though, because last night I got to watch the writers fumbling around to make sense of their bloated monstrosity of a series in REAL TIME.

Just kidding. It’s not a bloated monstrosity. It’s fun and smart and everything good about TV, and also sometimes silly and totally convoluted. And I do believe that the writers know exactly where they’re taking us. I am just getting somewhat impatient at having to wait. But such is life. Sometimes we just have to wait.

Last night’s episode was okay. I mean, at this point, there’s really no such thing as good or bad. It will be bad if the series ends badly, and it will be good if the series ends goodly. But the point is, about twenty minutes before the end, this comes up on the screen:

Hmm. I can’t quite read that. ENHANCE.

Finally! Thanks for keeping on top of it, Eyewitness News!