Awkward Press

Independent publishers of imaginative fiction and daily meditations on the ridiculousness of the universe.
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Here Is My First Movie. Discuss.

May 21, 2010 By: Category: Videos

I am not Gabe Michael.

Hey champs! I’ve been gallivanting around the United States, trying to convince a bunch of old guys that I’m a perfect selection for the U.S. Special Teams (the ones responsible for the stock market and Crocs), so I haven’t really been able to post as often as I’d like. As part of the application process, I need to show that I have multiple interests. Coincidentally, a few weeks ago I was invited by the promising young American director Gabe Michael to appear as the creepy boss in his entry for a contest sponsored by Lionsgate Films. Because in Hollywood, you don’t even have to be an actor to be an actor. If he wins the contest, he will get to direct a real movie for Lionsgate, and my nomination for the U.S. Special Teams is all but assured.

So here’s what you need to do, if you care about me or Awkward Press or anything we represent. Go to this website here and watch the film. And then comment on how good it is. Even if you think it’s garbage, comment on how good it is. Because that’s how reviews work. Wouldn’t you agree, Roger Ebert?

Also, in case you’re like, “Wait, what? This movie isn’t really a movie,” here’s the story behind it: contest entrants were asked to shoot a single scene from a user-submitted script. The script in our case is about two guys who start a business where they act like assholes in job interviews so the guy that interviews after them will come across like a king. So, no, there is not a complete story told in this 3 minute excerpt. But I think we can all agree that I am the best and most original performer who has ever been captured on film.

Roger Ebert on Taste

July 06, 2009 By: Category: Movie Reviews

I love Roger Ebert. I know, I know, he liked Benji: The Hunted or whatever. He’s still funnier and smarter than 99% of the critics out there. I know, because I took a poll of all of them and he was only beat by the margin of error.

Yesterday he posted a great piece about taste inspired by feedback to his Transformers 2 review. (Article discovered thanks to Videogum.) This part, especially, gets to me:

What I believe is that all clear-minded people should remain two things throughout their lifetimes: Curious and teachable. If someone I respect tells me I must take a closer look at the films of Abbas Kiarostami, I will take that seriously. If someone says the kung-fu movies of the 1970s, which I used for our old Dog of the Week segments, deserve serious consideration, I will listen.

That’s absolutely right, Roger Ebert. May everyone who is reading this post listen to Ebe’s solid advice. If someone you respect tells you he or she likes something that you do not like, you should take some time to understand why your opinions differ instead of automatically assuming your opinion is correct. Your friend will feel appreciated and you just might learn something!*

*Unless the thing you like is Friends with Money, which has been scientifically proven to be unwatchable.