The Awkward Movie Challenge: Rock n’ Roll High School
Mike:
Wow, Jeffrey. I hereby revoke your Rock & Roll license, because you apparently don’t get it. Rock ‘N’ Roll High School is one of the greatest Rock & Roll movies ever made, because it perfectly captures the absurdity, energy, and youthfulness of Rock music in a completely unpretentious way. It’s basically a live action cartoon, and there isn’t a frame of it that isn’t absurdly fun. Strangely enough, the non-stop fun factor of this flick is one of the things that sets it apart from a lot of other Rock & Roll movies. You’d think that fun would be an essential component of any film about something as joyous as Rock & Roll, but as great as pictures like Quadrophenia, The Last Waltz, and Gimme Shelter are, they’re not loads of fun. Rock ‘N’ Roll High School is also that rare Rock & Roll movie that is as much fun when the band is off screen as when they’re banging out their classics on screen. That’s because P.J. Soles is such a blast to watch, even with her tuneless voice and the dopey jokes the screenwriting team put in her mouth. She looks like she’s having a ball throughout the film, and with all the fun stuff she gets to do (lead a song and dance number in gym class, get serenaded by Joey Ramone while smoking dope, blow up her school, etc.), I can’t imagine she isn’t. And as for sneering that she “oozes ten-year-old boy sex appeal,” Soles is supposed to be a high school kid, and I think she convincingly sells that even though she was pushing thirty when she made this picture. She’s also adorable. That the object of desire doesn’t look like a Penthouse Pet is just one of the ways that Rock ‘N’ Roll High School sidesteps a lot of the teen movie clichés that would be canonized during the ‘80s; in this film, the jock is an awkward dork who couldn’t get laid in a sex cave, the nerdy girl is as sex-obsessed as the boys, and the coolest guy in school is Clint Howard.
Yes, the jokes are silly, but they come at such speed and with such a complete lack of self-consciousness that they’re never anything less than utterly charming. So are the Ramones. They’re no Beatles when it comes to on-screen presence, and they act as if they just got off the short bus, but they’re the perfect group to serve as the centerpiece of such a cartoony film (and the bizarre reaction shots of Dee Dee Ramone when he’s caught between Soles and a slice of pizza are hilarious). Most important of all, the film is lush with incredible music by the MC5, the Velvet Underground, Nick Lowe, Eddie & the Hot Rods, Chuck Berry, and of course, the Ramones. The climactic concert sequence is one of the most transcendent scenes in a film, Rock & Roll or otherwise.
I also think it’s misguided to criticize the film for portraying the principal as an ogre or for siding with kids who’d rather dance and party than attend class. Such values are trumpeted in about half-a-zillion classic Rock & Roll songs. This isn’t Kids Sit Obediently at Their Desks and Get Good Grades High School, because that movie sucks. As the Ramones’ manager says, “This is the big time, girlie. This is Rock & Roll.” That line may be cornier than an Iowa field, but hearing it spoken in this movie is the closest I’ve ever felt to patriotism.
So is Rock ‘N’ Roll High School silly? Is it over-the-top, sex-obsessed, wantonly destructive, schlocky, cartoony, juvenile, anti-education, hyperactive, and cheap? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. But these are the qualities that make it so exhilarating, and they’re the qualities that make Rock & Roll exhilarating, too. If you’re incapable of enjoying Rock ‘N’ Roll High School, you may have been born without an enjoyment gene. Can I get an Amen?
Mike gives Rock ‘N’ Roll High School… all of his money!
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"This isn’t 'Kids Sit Obediently at Their Desks and Get Good Grades High School,' because that movie sucks."
Hey! I loved that movie!
1How did I know you would?
2And I quote your review of "Ghostbusters" "A comedy has one job to do ... make me laugh." This movie does not make me laugh, even though it tries really, really hard. If the Ramones were not in it, I think your review would be completely different.
My problem with it is not that I would rather the kids "sit obediently at their desks and get good grades," it's that every single kid in the movie looks like they would rather be sitting at their desks and studying. If John Waters would have made this movie, it would've been filthy, perverse, and altogether rock n' roll. Instead, it's a wholesome, PG movie by square adults that pretends to capture the spirit of rock n' roll and, in my humble opinion, fails miserably.
I will grant you that P.J. Soles turns in a good performance, and the crack about her looking like a ten-year-old boy was just for pure amusement's sake. And Mary Woronov is fantastic. But I really don't have any fun watching this movie, even though everything on the screen is screaming at me to do so.
3Yes, a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, but I view this more as a Rock & Roll movie than a comedy. It generally isn't very funny (although I do think it's consistently amusing), but the music is great and I never feel like I'm being manipulated into having a great time. My review would be different if, say, the Carpenters were the central band, but then it would be a completely different movie. The Ramones may not have a ton of screen-time, but their presence is felt throughout the picture. That it isn't filthy or perverse also fits in with the Ramones-persona, because they were a relatively wholesome band. If the Stones were at the center of the movie, it would feel really disingenuous.
I also disagree that the kids look like they'd rather be sitting at their desks and studying. They look like they're having a lot of fun during that dance number in the gym to me.
4P.S. The closest movie John Waters ever made to 'Rock 'N' Roll High School' is 'Cry Baby', which is his most wholesome film, so your assumption may not hold water.
5But what are they rebelling against? Yes, I recognize it's a silly cartoon, and I'm not looking for deep political insight. But give me something. Everyone in this movie is joyously happy, all the time! The only thing they're pissed about is that Miss Togar's a bitch. And why is she a bitch? Because she doesn't want them playing rock n' roll on the PA? If this movie's a live-action cartoon, then make it a cartoon! Show her locking up kids in a dungeon and forcing them to listen to Mantovani!
So as a result, the ending feels completely unearned to me. I don't care how low-budget or goofy a movie is, it's just pure laziness to show me one thing (Vince Lombardi High School is a nonstop blast in which the kids basically do whatever they want at all times) and tell me another (the kids hate high school so much that they blow the place up.)
And I don't really understand the distinction between "comedy" and "rock n' roll movie" in this situation. This movie is packed to the gills with bad jokes. It is a comedy, and it isn't funny. Sure, there's good music on the soundtrack, but I don't really see how that has anything to do with the quality of the film. I can listen to the Velvet Underground on my own time, thank you very much.
Also, John Waters was not making movies like Cry Baby in 1979, so I don't see how that's really pertinent. But I would say in terms of pure rock n' roll energy and fun, campy nastiness, Cry Baby has it all over Rock n' Roll High School.
6Dude, there are giant mice in this movie. How much cartoonier does it need to be? And she does confiscate their Ramones tickets. If that isn't a declaration of war, I don't know what is.
And the distinction here between Rock & Roll movie and comedy is the same as the distinction between drama and Rock & Roll movie when viewing 'Purple Rain'. You love that movie, but don't tell me you get caught up in its anemic dramatic situations.
7No, agreed, but Purple Rain is structured differently, in that a performance or video follows almost every scene. Rock n' Roll High School saves most of the performance for the concert, 3/4 of the way through the movie. Which, absolutely, I think everyone should watch that part of the film. It's the rest that I have objections to.
And, I laugh a lot harder at Morris Day than I do at anything in this movie. Save for the last line: "I'm in the phone book under Sccccreeeeamin!" Now that's funny.
As for the cartoonishness of it, certainly, it is plenty cartoony right now, but that doesn't address my central complaint ... that Miss Togar is a rather toothless villain. Wolonov chews the hell out of the scenery, but I don't see much to fear in her other than the fact that she wears a tight bun and business suits. Arkush couldn't have included one scene showing how miserable it is to go to school at Vince Lombardi High? The nerd character sure has it tough, but his misery is played for laughs ... another bummer about the plot. Riff isn't the underdog, she's the most popular girl in school. I think in order for a movie to truly be rock n' roll, the characters should be outsiders. Unless they're the Beatles, in which case, they can do whatever the fuck they want to do.
8I agree about the nerd-abuse, but perhaps we're both a little extra sensitive about this issue since we're both nerd-Americans.
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