Jeffrey:

Well put, sir. Sadly, for the second week in a row, we will not be arguing. But before I give my review, I’d like to share a little bit of my experience with the Witch, as she’s known around these parts.

I first read about The Blair Witch Project when it premiered at Sundance. At the time, it was still being presented as a documentary. From the first minute I heard about it, it shot to the top of my “must-see” list.

That was in February. And then the wait began. Between February and July 14th (hey, that’s 10 years ago today!), I read and watched everything I could find about it. Interestingly, for as much as everyone remembers the brilliant marketing campaign, it really wasn’t that easy to find out information about the film at the time. Blair Witch had the distinct advantage of being released right before the Internet was fast, easily accessible, or useful to most Americans. There was no YouTube. There was no Facebook, MySpace, or even Friendster (gasp! No Friendster?!?). So every bit of information I got about Blair Witch came either through traditional media sources, or through websites that were insanely primitive by today’s standards. Most people I know first heard about it after the Sci Fi Channel aired a “documentary” about the three lost kids (The Curse of the Blair Witch). Somehow, Myrick & Sanchez managed to virally market a movie to mainstream America before there was even a viral network to market it to.

By the time it actually came out, the cat was out of the bag, and pretty much everyone knew it was fake. I remember being somewhat disappointed to learn it wasn’t real, but I also seem to remember that the “is it real or not?” question was floating around from the very beginning. I went to see it the day after it was released by myself, on account of my roommate being out of town and not having any other friends. It was pretty much the ideal situation in which to see it.

My experience was very similar to Mike’s. I came out of the theater feeling like it hadn’t lived up to the hype, but for some reason, it stuck with me. I didn’t go see it two more times in the theater, because I ain’t a sucker. But I picked it up on DVD the minute it was released and it’s remained a staple of my collection ever since. By “staple of my collection,” I mean it’s sat on a shelf next to the other movies in my collection. I am married now and married people don’t get to watch scary movies. But I made an exception for the Awkward Movie Challenge, because that’s the kind of sacrifice I’m willing to make for you guys.

The thing that struck me the most about Blair Witch this time around was the quality of the performances. I know, the three main actors were basically playing themselves being terrified in really terrifying situations. But even the locals during the early parts of the movie are absolutely convincing. There have been a lot of documentary-style films made since Blair Witch, but none of them have been as believable.

And I think the believability issue may be the thing that separates the haters of Blair Witch from the lovers. The majority of horror movies are externally terrifying. That’s a technical term that I just made up. What I mean is, it would be gross in real life to see a guy get a bunch of hornets blown up his ass or whatever, and the M.O. of many modern horror films is to show us that awful thing we wouldn’t ever want to watch. So that’s externally terrifying.

As Mike points out, there is very little in Blair Witch that’s externally terrifying. If you can lose yourself in the world of the movie enough to feel as though you’re experiencing the events with the characters, you will be scared. And knowing the back story of how the film was shot actually makes it more terrifying, only slightly less terrifying than if it was a real documentary. It doesn’t matter that the actors knew they were shooting a movie. If you are stuck in the woods for 8 days with rationed food and you never see your director and you are subjected to a barrage of frightening experiences, you will be terrified. What we are watching, when we watch the Blair Witch, is the actual experience of people slowly losing their minds. It is incredible that the actors managed to stay in character throughout the entire shoot. I am getting chills right now thinking about what it would be like to be Heather in the final scene, walking into a filthy, abandoned house in the middle of the woods late at night, searching in desperation for your fellow actor who disappeared the morning before, with the knowledge that the people directing the experience are consciously trying to give you a heart attack. How do you know the directors aren’t madmen? That you haven’t just unwittingly made the worst mistake of your life? No amount of explanatory notes left in boxes by the directors is going to lessen the terror of that moment.

That being said, my only criticism of Blair Witch is the same criticism I had when I left the theater: I want to see something. Now, before you tell me that I’m a fool and a sucker and I just contradicted my entire review, let me explain myself. I wholeheartedly agree that the most frightening images are those we create in our minds. However, I also believe that there is power in movement that is underexploited in this film. I don’t need to see a leering, google-eyed monster lurking in the darkness. (If I wanted to see that, I’d rent Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows.) It would definitely lessen the terror of the film (and probably heighten its popularity) if it ended with a crazy man hacking the characters to bits with a chainsaw. But a simple flash of light, a blur of movement, a glimpse of something out of the corner of our eyes … anything to remind us, particularly in the final moments of the film, that yes, there is something out there … would, I think, really ratchet up the terror. I know, one should not judge a film on what one wishes it would be. I just believe that “we don’t see anything” should not necessarily mean “we don’t see anything.” We are, after all, watching a movie.

But besides that minor quibble, I absolutely agree that The Blair Witch Project is a horror classic that deserves a second look by anyone who felt cheated the first time around, back when the hype made it difficult to watch the movie with open eyes. On the Awkward Scale of Pizzas, I give The Blair Witch Project … 5 1/2 pizzas!

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