Since we started this whole “Meet the Writers” thing, traffic on awkwardpress.com has shot through the roof. We got over 2,600 hits in the last month. Which may not seem like much to your Justin Biebers and your Chocolate Rainers, but it’s pretty damn good for us.

Internet traffic is like a drug. Ask our friend Clay, who went from blogging naysayer to Fangoria phenomenon after discovering the thrill of writing a hot blog post. It is very exciting to check your stats every day and see them going up. Especially for us writers, who are mostly unfamiliar with the joys of popularity.

Getting popular is exciting, but staying popular is hard. If you’re not updating your blog a few times a day, you can forget keeping an audience. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way several times over the years, and the Internet is littered with blogs that have been sitting untouched for years.

In my quest to avoid becoming one of these blogs, I just went poking around to see what the kids are into. I needed a quick post that I could churn out to make it seem as if we’re still relevant, and I thought I’d take the easy route of just reposting some other dude’s viral video and calling it a day. But here’s the rub: there is nothing going on out there. And from this five minute survey, I have determined that viral videos are dead. They’re over. The market has become saturated and is starting to eat itself.

Until the Awkward Two trailer is released next week, that is. Make way for Viral Videos 2.0!

In the meantime, here’s some dumb crap that I stole from Buzzfeed.

Here’s some kid dancing to a pop song. He’s actually pretty good. Who cares?

Roger Federer is incredible! I know! Over it.

All pop music is the same. Revelation! I’m falling asleep.

This isn’t viral and I didn’t get it from Buzzfeed. I typed “I’m so bored” into YouTube and this is what came up. This kid isn’t gay, btw, so please stop saying he is.

Sigh. This is what the world has come to. Not with a bang, but a lip sync.